Tim Minchin If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out (Take My Wife) Lyrics

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the
world of a single
Psychic who has been able to prove under reasonable
experimental conditions that they are able to read
minds

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of
the world of a single
Astrologer who has been able to prove under reasonable
experimental conditions that they can predict future
events by interpreting celestial signs

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of
the world of a single
Homeopathic Practitioner who has been able to prove
under reasonable experimental conditions that solutions
made of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge quantities of
water has a consistently higher medicinal value than
a similarly administered placebo

And if anyone can show me one example in the entire
history of the world of a single
Spiritual or religious person who has been able to
show either empirically or logically the existence of a
higher power with any consciousness or interest in the
human race or ability to punish or reward humans for
there moral choices or that there is any reason -
other than fear - to believe in any version of an
afterlife

I’ll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife