Dane Cook Driveway Intruder Lyrics

This is another one too. and I know ur like me

I HATE it when somebody turns around in my driveway.

Your just sitting comfortanly watching tv. You hear a
car pu-. "wha-. who is this?" hhehh. It's so
dissruptive you look out, strange car, you don't know
if its a government official-you start getting
concerned. WHAT I don't know this car! Then they turn
to leave and your like,

YOU SON OF A BITCH! You wasted moments of my life!
moments I will never get back!

Ah. someday I'm gonna run out to that car before they
leave- knock on the window,make em' roll it down and go. "You ever turn around in my driveway again. I'll
cut your f*cking head off!." "I'm gonna put your head
on my intenna. and drive around. with your head, on my
intenna."

And hopefully, I'll get a two-fer and the person will
go "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR f*ckING MIND!" then I'll pull
out a switch blade and they go. " YOU REALLY ARE OUT OF
YOUR f*ckING MIND!" and I go "ZANGZADAN!"

(Applause)

I hope they never come back and try to turn around in
that driveway again. Cuz then I'll be in the window
like. DAMNITT. NOW I GOTTA CUT THIS GUYS HEAD OFF!

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