TREVOR MOORE


The Ballad Of Billy John Lyrics

Billy John was a simple man
Worked in the fields most his life
Provided for his wife and kids
And left his dreams on the side

One day when the kids left home
Well he picked up his guitar
It had been a while but his fingers still
Knew how to reach the heart

Played a song about life and love
His hopes and regrets
Then with a little prodding from the Missus
He put it on the internet

When the views started pourin' in
Tears of joy started to fall
Then they scrolled to the comments section
And this is what they saw

Eat a bag of shit, cuntface
Go and blow your f*cking dad
This shit just raped my ears
Never heard nothing so bad
I hope you f*cking die
And I hope you get AIDS
You should just kill yourself
You're a fag, L.O.L gay

Billy John's wife watched her husband
As he shrugged and tried to smile
He put his guitar away
And stopped and stared at it for a while

She knew he felt like a fool
And he'd never play again
So she turned on her webcam
And let her message begin

She said, "The man you've hurt tonight
I've watched for 35 years
He's got a kind and gentle soul
And thanks to you, that soul's in tears
And the people said
"Shut the f*ck up fatty
Show us your tits
1/10, I wouldn't bang
I bet she'd try to eat your dick
You should go get sterilized
So that you can't have kids"
Then they photoshopped a bunch of pictures
Of her covered in jizz

Well the video went viral
57 million hits
Billy John's wife became a meme
On the internet

They played the clip on CNN
And read tweets about her weight
'Cause I guess that's the sorta thing
That the news does nowadays

Billy John and his wife did nothing wrong
And they weren't dumb
They just hadn't paid attention
To what we'd all become

But a couple weeks later
After avoiding it for some time
A broken down and changed Billy John
Finally went back online

He found the page of a blogger
Still making fun of his wife
He signed up and made an account
And this is what he typed:

"Eat a bag of shit, cuntface
Go and blow your f*cking dad
Your shit just raped my eyes
Never read nothing so bad

I hope you f*cking die
And I hope you get AIDS"
And the world lost a Billy John
And it gained more of the same

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Record Label(s): 2015 Comedy Central Records
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