Stephen Sondheim Pirelli's Miracle Elixir Lyrics

[Toby]
Ladies and gentlemen!
May I have your attention, perlese!
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair,
to discover your pillow is covered with hair,
or what not should be there?

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken at ease!
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare.
Gentleman, you are about to see something
that rose from the dead!
On the top of my head

T'was Pirelli's
Miracle Elixir,
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick sir?
Did it in a tick, sir,
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!

How about a bottle mister?
only costs a penny guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir,
'Tis unique.

Rub a minute
Stimulatin', (i'n' it?)
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!

[Sweeney Todd]
Pardon me ma'm what's that awful stench?

[Mrs. Lovett]
Are we standing near an open drench? [Mrs. Lovett] (said with Sweeney)
Pardon me sir what's that awful stench?
[Sweeney Todd] (said with Lovett)
Are we standing near an open drench?

[Toby]
Buy Pirelli's
Miracle Elixir
anything will slick, sir, soon sprouts curls

Try Pirelli's
when they see a fixir
you can have your pick, sir,
of the girls!

Wanna buy a bottle misses?

[Sweeney Todd]
What is this?

[Mrs. Lovett]
What is this?

[Sweeney Todd]
Smells like piss

[Mrs. Lovett]
Smells like, ew!

[Sweeney Todd](said with Lovett)
What is this? This is piss. piss with ink
[Mrs. Lovett] (said with Sweeney)
I wouldn't touch it if i was you, dear

[Toby]
Let pirelli's activate your roots, sir

[Sweeney Todd]
Keep it off your boots, sir, leaks right through

[Toby]
You're scared, pirelli's use a bottle of it,
ladies seem to love it

[Mrs. Lovett]
Flies do too.