Paul Roland Nursery Crimes Lyrics

When I was young I didn't have too many little friends
Only one, and she was three score years and ten
A nanny with a most peculiar pedigree
A former felon, but she was always good to me

And when they came for her she shimmied down the drain
Made off with Mummy's jewels, we'll not see her again

She taught me how to forge a fiver from a stolen plate
How to do my time if made a guest of the State She gave me lessons on the blowing of a strongroom door
Too much "jelly" and the nursery went through the floor

I learnt the rackets and the value of a good disguise
How to case a joint and how to fence the merchandise
And now I'm older and they ask me what I want to be
A life of crime is sure to be the life for me