Mr.b The Gentleman Rhymer You Just Can't Lyrics

As we slide down the razor blade of life these days In many ways the malaise of modern life betrays The many wonders that abound and in equal ways confound There's so much a chap can do that needn't cost a pound One can natter to a flapper down under As a matter of course until one's hoarse Or call any resource One can fly off to the colonies for gentlemanly bonhomie But if the colonials bother me I can order up a bombing spree Theatrical productions at the mere push of a button Or simply move your house if you don't want to live in Sutton These days one can do just what one pleases (Buy exotic cheeses, catch exotic diseases) Enough pornography on tap to fairly kill a chap But do take heed because it all could be a trap I can tell by the gormless grin on your face That you think the modern world is a wonderful, wonderful place But you just...

CHORUS: ...Can't rape a goat these days It'll end up on your Facebook page If the public note what you did to that goat You'll have the authorities at your throat You just can't rape a goat these days You'll be in trouble in so many ways Confuse a billy or a nanny For a willy or a fanny And you'll have the local papers in a rage (Can't rape a goat these days It'll end up on your Facebook page If the public note what you did to that goat You'll have the authorities at your throat You just can't rape a goat these days You'll be in trouble in so many ways Confuse a billy or a nanny For a willy or a fanny And you'll have the local papers in a rage)
These days dirty little secrets never last Now that privacy is a thing of the past The merest misdemeanour can be seen upon a screen Where people know what you have done And they know where you have been A fart or a log will be part of a blog Before your hands are washed and you emerge from the fog The cogs of the machine force one to keep it clean (Watch your step when you strap on the naughty trampoline) Freedom of speech is not freedom of expression When the line's been breached you should learn a lesson When the farmer come with his big shotgun then run Because you just...

CHORUS

Now that privacy's gone you'd better keep your schlong Inside the members of the human race