Kevin Bloody Wilson The Local Lyrics

I just got in from the local, I had to try the local brew,
And I run into the local gossip, and I learned a thing or two,
About you local yokels, and what you's get up to,
And he read me your pedigrees and I'll read 'em back to you.

He said "The local chef's a poofter, the local doc's a drunk,
The local priest likes little boy's bums and the local cop's a cunt,
I said the local cops a...what did I say?
(The local cop's a cunt)

The local mayor's a f*ckin' dickhead, his wife's the local snob,
The local bank manager's a f*ckin' wanker and so's the local cob,
The local sparky's a f*ckin' cowboy, local plumber's makin' a mint,
The local undertaker's a f*ckin' weirdo and the local lawyer's full'a
shit.

And the local chef'a a poofter, the local doc's a drunk,
The local priest likes little boy's bums and the local cop's a cunt,
I said the local cops a...what did it say?
(The local cop's a cunt)

The local bookie's a shonkey bastard, the local race is f*ckin' rigged,
Local publican oughta be f*ckin' hung for waterin' down the piss, The local polly's a f*ckin' gin jockey, and here's somethin' else I
know,
The local cricket team ain't worth f*ckin' shit the local footy team's a
f*ckin' joke.

And the local chef's a poofter, the local doc's a drunk,
The local priest likes little boy's bums and the local cop's a cunt,
I said the local cops a...what did I say?
(The local cop's a cunt)

The local butcher's full'a blowflies, local dogs are full of fleas,
Local barber's a f*ckin' butcher, local kids are f*ckin' thieves,
The local car yard's a f*ckin' rip-off, and so's the local show,
And the local cop's a dead set cunt but I mentioned that a minute
ago, when I said:

The local chef's a poofter, the local doc's a drunk,
The local priest likes little boy's bums and the local cop's a cunt.

I said the local chef's a poofter, the local doc's a drunk,
The local priest likes little boy's bums and the local cop's a cunt,
I said the local cop's a...what did I say?
(The local cop's a cunt)

Big finish, one, two, three, four,
The local cop's a cunt.