Kevin Bloody Wilson Big Fat Bum Lyrics

He was a weedy little bastard goin' bald and really thin,
I reckon henpeck was a word they probably made up just for him,
But with every beer he knocked back his confidence just swelled,
'Til he become ten foot tall, f*ckin' bullet proof as well.

Then this galant little pommie waved his finger in the air,
"I know she'll f*ckin' kill me, but I don't f*ckin' care",
Then the pub sprung to attention when he give the bar a thump,
"I've held me f*ckin' tongue too long about her big fat bum.

She's got a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton,
You'd not see no'in' like it son, her big fat bum.

"God you should see her in the mornin' over breakfast oh my god,
Sat there with a f*ckin' fag end stickin' out her gob,
With her hair all up in curlers and her fluffy slippers on,
With f*ckin' blowflies buzzin' 'round her big fat bum.

She's got a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton,
f*ckin' pongs an' all it does ya know, her big fat bum.

And in the evenin' if we go out she pays double on the bus,
And they've banned her from the bingo 'cause she farts too f*ckin'
much,
So that's why most nights you'll find me on me own here in the pub,
While she's home watchin' telly on her big fat bum.

She's got a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton, f*ckin' wearin' out our sofa on her big fat bum".

Then he quietly reassured me, "Didn't always look like that,
She were trim lass when we wedded, her ass weren't always fat,
Now she's got a f*ckin' fat ass and a moustache like her mum,
There's hair up there as well as in her big fat bum.

She's got a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton,
f*ckin' hairy fat and ugly with her big fat bum".

Then he passed his glass and asked me, "Could I have another one?
'Cause tonight's our anniversary and I'm too frightened to go home,
'Cause she'll have stockings and suspenders and her fancy knickers
on,
She'll want a nookie and a lovebite on her big fat bum.

She's got a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton,
Me little willy's frightened of her big fat bum".

It was tragic but it was funny, 'cause that night there in the pub,
When I come back from the dunny, me little pommie mate was gone,
And it broke me heart to see him bein' dragged out'a that pub,
By the bollocks 'tween the buttocks of her big fat bum.

She had a big fat bum, it weigh half a f*ckin' ton,
You'd not see no'in' like it son, her big, fat, bum.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha..