Ivy Sole Achilles Lyrics

Verse:
My knees kissed the carpet every night before bed
Thanked a ghost for what he gave me, promptly begged him for rest
Like now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul don't leap
Up out my chest or heart or head, I pray that I end up dead
Cousin pried open my legs, left puddles and pain
So I prayed for a sign but all that came was some shame
And a secret that I kept behind my eyes wide shut
Between these taut lipped teeth in these too tight lungs
Taught myself to breathe heavy, bite bullets in time
Bought a cage to keep the nightmares and terrors at bay
Crafted casket for the crouching crowded hurt in my mind
Colored memories when culprits had me dreaming in gray
Now I gaze at the sun and think of who I used to pray to
The services attended endeavoring to be saved
This religion that I clung to got me looking to the page
Is it empty or infinity that's keeping me awake?

Hook:
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can't sleep
So I'm lifting up my window just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars won't you hear my pleas
It's apparent that the kid's in need
I got 89 problems and 10 more coming
Why won't anybody listen to me Verse:
(See I've been) Looking for god in everywhere but my head
(and I've been) Looking for peace in every place but my heart
(And I searched) High and low, near and far
But the time and the distance are what made the wounds depart
I've been fighting like Attila the Hun
Think my Achilles is love
Ain't no safety when all that's left is the smoke of the gun
Blood leaking teaches you to fear being exposed
And every person represents your next potential blow
So I couldn't let him touch me, couldn't let her close
Couldn't say I love you when they needed it most
I'm sorry for the lessons I learned at your expense
And I know it hurts that you can't see my growth in present tense
It's funny ‘cause you said it would happen
You saw the future I could barely imagine
Now I dream of us when insomnia's at bay
But rest assured we're better off this way

Hook:
Like one two three sheep
Four five close yo eyes
Six, shit, I can't sleep
So I'm lifting up my window just to talk to the skies
Like seven stars won't you hear my pleas
It's apparent that the kid's in need
I got 89 problems and 10 more coming
Why won't anybody listen to me