Grand Buffet Cool As Hell Lyrics

Statues of age old stone shed tears
Theres a myriad of reason why
None of which I need to hear
What Im listening for as a natural very low frequency
Only sizmologists speak to me
Recently wheels that squeak have no sequel
Refusing to roll like predictable people
The nunery is harnessing in sexual frustration
Converting it into fuel powering the congreagation
Tour Bus for a time travel fantasy
Six thousand years in the past to dismantle the
Ludicrous theories of secular scientists
Backing their statements with useless appliances
I apply knowledge from tabloid horoscopes
Reminidng me all is not lost there is hope
Play the lottery, unplus the discord
Flex your authority, carry a clipboard

My life is fleeting, I shall soon befall the fate of
mortals
My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal Of all eternal hell by he whom Ive put all my faith in
Ill dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty satan

Look at the bottom of that fir tree the telltale sign
somebody was here, wired it up, put it together in no
time
Who did the deed?
Who tried to rid the woods of free thinking dudes who
cuss too much and do no good
They trample vegetation with their ATV's
So now theyre f*cking with the ghost of Jonny Appleseed
And hes a charitable spirit, but not so Christ-like
He wouldnt take his tin pot hat to their windpipes

My life is fleeting, I shall soon befall the fate of
mortals
My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal
Of all eternal hell by he whom Ive put all my faith in
Ill dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty satan