The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson Lyrics

Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ian Underwood (alto saxophone, piano)
Bunk Gardner (tenor saxophone, clarinet)
Motorhead Sherwood (baritone saxophone, tambourine)
Roy Estrada (bass, vocals)
Don Preston (electric piano)
Arthur Tripp (drums, percussion)
Jimmy Carl Black (drums)
Members of The BBC Symphony Orchestra

(Next during the JIMMY CARL BLACK PHILOSOPHY LESSON we learn that If you wanna get laid after the show, you gotta play rock n roll music an drink beer -- you're not gonna get laid anyway with those uniforms on! He announces his intention to quit The Mothers, planning to make his way into the audience in order to hustle some young ladies. It was my unfortunate duty to remind him that here in London, your'e not gonna get any p*ssy unless you like a pop star --. The make-up team dresses him up to look like a cross between Donovan and Jimi Hendrix. With a bottle of beer (DOUBLE DIAMOND) in each hand he charges into the audience.)

At this very moment Jimmy Carl Black the Indian of the group is approaching the stage. Jimmy Carl likes to drink and also likes to boogie all night long and is also horny. Approaches Underwood in his transformed state at the piano and ask him this all important question:
Jimmy Carl:
Hey I thought we're gonna play a Rock & Roll concert. What is this?

Jimmy Carl Black indian of the group? Four fours.

Jimmy Carl:
How are you gonna get laid if you dont play rock & roll & drink beer. You get laid after the concert if you play rock & roll, this kind of crap you're not gonna . . .

You're not gonna get laid anyway with that uniform on.

Jimmy Carl:
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna quit I'm gonna out and hustle me some chick, the hell with you. I'm leaving the group.

Jimmy you need some discipline

Jimmy Carl(?) For your own good, that here in London you're not gonna get any p*ssy unless you look like a popstar. Fix him up! Mod Jacket, a thrilly Mod Neckpiece, Jimmy Hendrix wig, and a Feather Boa.

Jimmy Carl:

Jimmy Carl Black enters the audience to hustle some young ladies. Go on Jim see if you can get any action, and if you get lucky fix us up too. And if you're really lucky, get something for the robots... Mmmm the little mechanical things are going up and down, up and down.

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Songwriter(s): Frank Zappa, Jimmy Black

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