ERIC SCHWARTZ


Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis Lyrics

CHORUS:
Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I’ll keep my penis offa you

Well, I’m frickin’ sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right’s ungodly fight
To take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection, if we’re just practicing for now
So W, look, obey a book
If that’s what works for you
But I don’t tell you how to pray
So don’t you tell me how to screw!

CHORUS

So you’re screaming bloody murder about the Taliban regime
For subjugating women and being too extreme
And basing legislation on some ancient, holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here’s a mirror, have a look!
And as for the Ten Commandments, they need one more, at least
“Thou shalt never cover up the acts of pervert priests”
Now how’d they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us?
Well, anyway, it adds another layer to the chorus!

CHORUS

So you’ll execute a person and then protect the single cell
But mercy kill the terminally I'll and you’re going straight to Hell?
Well, I don’t know much about the word of God, far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain’t, that’s hypo-Christianity
Well, I am not anti-Christian, before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
And we’re all lookin’ for that answer
Some colossal, cosmic cause
But who the f**k are you to turn your views into my laws?

It’s just believers in the bible that would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics, I could count ‘em on one hand
And as for killing babies, I’ve got but one retort:
If someone raped your daughter, George, you’d beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church shows up with child or some infection
‘'cause you told her what a horrid sin it was to use protection
Well, one day you’ll face the pearly gates
And what you gonna say
When that long-haired, Jewish peacenick sends your ass the other way

Sayin’ keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I’ve had it up to here with all the biblobile you spew
So keep your Jesus off my penis
Well, at least that’s what I would do
Yeah, keep your Jesus off my penis
I’ll keep my penis off of you
That’s if’n you want me to

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Record Label(s): 2004 Claritone Music
Official lyrics by

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