My Wife's Vibrator Lyrics

I used to be such a happy guy
Thought things were good between my wife and I
But now I just hang my head in shame

Since the day, that I found,
The thing that turned my world upside down
Now I'll never be the same

Chorus:

Since I found my wife's vibrator
Stuffed in a Cotton Sock
(My wife's vibrator)
A perfect replica of a cock
(My wife's vibrator)
It was so big and fat
How the hell can I compete with that?
My wife's vibrator

I pick'd it up, and weight a ton
Took four "D" batteries to make it run
And the writing on the side said it's name was "slim"

Is this what it takes to feel alive?
Three f*cking gears and an overdrive
When I turned it on all the lights went dim

When I found my wife's vibrator
What is this all about? (My wife's vibrator)
The thing will knock her fillings out
(My wife's vibrator)
Don't you dare laugh
I swear to God it's gonna split her in half
My wife's vibrator

She came home earlier than planned
With me holding cockzilla in my hand
And I just stood there in a trance

She said "Well, now that you know,
is there any chance you wanna give it a go?"
I fell to the floor and I pissed my pants

When I found my wife's vibrator

I think ... they're full of shit

(My wife's vibrator)

There's no way you can make it fit

(My wife's vibrator)

Who did they model it on?
That motherf*cker's got one hell of a schlong

(My wife's vibrator)

I found my wife's vibrator
Yes I found my wife's vibrator.

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