Dane Cook Bamf Lyrics

I've made some upgrades in my life, sometimes you have
to upgrade your life. There's things that you need to
do, you need to invest in yourself, in your soul
[laugh].

I wanted to get a new vehicle and I was thinkin' "What
do I want to get?" and I'm talkin' to my buddies and
I'm like "what do you think, what should I get, What's
something that's badass that when I'm driving around
I'll feel like a B.A. that's a Bad Ass? I shortened it.
And I wanted some suggestions, "What would make me feel
like a Bad Ass Mother f*cker a BAMF?" Again I just
shortened it. You know no one says I'm going to buy a
new car that makes me look like a shithead. Something
delapitated that when i'm driving around people point
and laugh at me in my existence.

SO I was talkin' to my friends, and I was like "What do
you think guys, what should I get that's B.A. That I'm
going to feel cool driving around in?" and my friends
were making suggestions, "You should getter a Hummer 2,
get one of those H2's man that's bad ass. And I looked
at my friends and I said "I dont want a Hummer 2
because people already have that and I dontwant
something that people already have so this what I went out and got and it's workin' out awesome. I've been
driving around a cement truck.

I put neon underneath, I put 50 inch rims, that I made
myself in my basement, out of alluminum foil and
ornaments. Yeah, and you know that big thing that turns
in the back? My buddies are in there rollin' around. I
padded it don't worry, I padded it.

They have a blasty back there. They love it, I throw
treats in the back, I throw Jolly Rancher watermelon
candies. And they suck on treats, and they roll around,
while I drive the CT2004, That's what I call it.

[applause]

I'm going to put my foot down, I am going to make a
stance right now, I'm going to say this: watermelon is
the only good flavor of Jolly Rancher candies, I will
say that.

Thank you for agreeing with me. If you say sour apple,
I will stab you in the jaw. Sour apple sucks, if you
believe that sour apple is good, you meet me in the
lobby after the show, I'll be the guy stabbing jaws.
Theres not too many of us out there. Just look for the
guy stabbing jaws, that's me come up say 'hello' and
I'll stab you in the jaw.