Soldier and Devil Sitting in a Tree S-C-H-E-M-I-N-G Devil got a pitchfork Soldier got a gun Home alone always means a lot of fun
Ready, steady jump Land with the thump Noise coming from the shed Like bang, bang on a drum Head for the shed, Shit's getting weird Soldier open door Little arab kid with a beard "shut up" says soldier, "go sit in the corner. That's it, no more blood and water"
Devil grabs the petrol, Heads off to the kitchen "f*ck" says soldier, "you better quit your bitchin'" Little bearded arab boy is in the corner twitchin' Plus a little arab girl in a black ninja robe Soldier grabs a bit of rope, Ties it round their necks Then puts bags over their heads And leads 'em out the shed
(HOOK) Chinaman pointing There's a hellcat floating In my livingroom Giving me the heebie-jeebies Jet to the cupboard quick Fetch me a broomstick Hit 'em in the tummy-tum Die scum Why front?
(REPEAT HOOK) ------------------------
Little devil Strapped with the bible Lights some candles And kicks a backwards recital (woo!) Little forehead spinning, Sniffing fumes Pentagram flares up In the livingroom With a "woof" Devil's heart going "doof, doof doof" Big black form appears with a poof Devil gets a fright like "holy guacamole" Through the kitchen out the backdoor To run and tell his homie
Things are still heating up at the back of the shed Arab kids on their knees with their hands on their head Devil having trouble speaking, taps soldier on the back "Ah! jesus, don't do that, I'll have a heart attack!"
"There's a really big f*cking hellcat floating in the living room!"
"Come with a broomstick quick, let's go!"
Make big noise. Bounce. Play rough. Break stuff.
(HOOK) (REPEAT HOOK)
"Oh, thank you"
"Don't mention it. You're afraid?"
"It's true. Why front?"