Tankard Fat Snatchers (The Hippo Effect) Lyrics

My name is chunk and I'm a real fat ass
No diet plan could ever help me
My friends are laughing about my plump mass
Where is my dick? Long time no see

Yesterday I heard of an arcane company
A cult, maybe, that's crazy 'bout slender body
With blood I signed a contract, a lifetime membership
Proponents call the concept "the hippo effect"

Check in hypnotherapy
Lose weight in coma
Check out of reality
You won't remember

Fat snatchers want you ‒ they have a secret plan
Fat snatchers watch you ‒ if you're a sugar fan
Fat snatchers need you ‒ your pounds, your calories
Fat snatchers harvest ‒ reduce you in weeks

My name was chunk, now it's thirty days later
I can't believe what became of me
A featherweight, a chocolate-hater
It all seems odd, I'll investigate

A country in the third world is where the traces lead So horrified i realize: there's nothing to eat
From all alone they're getting fat, some even look like
me
I can't escape "hippo effect", malnourished and bony

Check in hypnotherapy
Lose weight in coma
Check out of reality
You won't remember

Fat snatchers want you ‒ they have a secret plan
Fat snatchers watch you ‒ if you're a sugar fan
Fat snatchers need you ‒ your pounds, your calories
Fat snatchers harvest ‒ reduce you in weeks

Check in hypnotherapy
Lose weight in coma
Check out of reality
You won't remember

Fat snatchers want you ‒ they have a secret plan
Fat snatchers watch you ‒ if you're a sugar fan
Fat snatchers need you ‒ your pounds, your calories
Fat snatchers harvest ‒ reduce you in weeks