Shteppi 20. Lyrics

[Intro]
Yuh

[Verse]
Back of the venue, my homies tearin' the stage up
Flippin' through my sketchbook, doodlin' every page up
So many ideas flowin' out of my brain, bruh
I wonder what it's like to have came up
Payin' bills from rap
I wonder how many days until I make a million tracks
I wonder how many verses killed, I'm keepin' stored in the back
My thinking cap, am I greedy for being hungry?
I do this for the art, not the money, but the money's nice
I always think my idols don't do this for the money, right?
I speak into my microphone so much that it's funny, right?
My homies thirty, hope I do this shit in my twenties right
I'm f*ckin' up, I fear I do nothin' right when I'm acin'
Freddy Krueger, Jason and rappin' are both adjacent
'Cause to me, I'm slashin' dreams that I'm havin', just to get payment
Dream chasin', gettin' in stickier situations that I would if I was working a nine-to-five with a wage and
I think I'm going crazy, just layin' inside my house
If the music doesn't work out, then I'm f*cked I can almost taste it
Just keep your head straight, girl, and try to secure these placements
And don't go makin' a move to f*ck up the progress you're making
Hold up
First of December, I barely lived through November Feel like my brain gettin' tenderized after changin' my gender
Newer hormones kickin' in, tryna keep a low temper
How can I render the way that I feel without soundin' stupid?
I know I'm not, but you'd think I was the way that I'm movin'
My homies gettin' more distant, my family gettin' more clueless
My days are passin' me by as depression gettin' more rooted
In my life
f*ck up my mood, I could cry, whatever I'm doing
Now I'm sensitive, used to have the thickest skin
Worried 'bout my penmanship, newer feelings kickin' in
Wanna hit the pen and shit, but I'm too worried I'll get sick of chasin' after Benjamins, and be okay not hittin' shit, yuh
I'm so afraid I'm gon' lose my drive
Look up in my mirror everyday, askin', "Who am I?"
My granny don't remember me at all, getting dewy-eyed
My momma see I'm tryin' not to go through with suicide
Nobody really know me outside of my computer
My family think I'm going crazy 'cause I stay up from two to five
My life won't get threw aside, I'm gettin' my shit together
But hopefully my music, unlike me, wanna live forever
I hope so, yeah

[Outro]
Yeah, I hope so
Live forever, I hope so

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