Scared Weird Little Guys Bawdy Song (Christmas Day) Lyrics

We sat 'round the table upon Christmas Day
My brother said, 'You should all know that I'm
Going for a ride, can I borrow the truck?
By the way, mum and dad, I think you're both
Funny, no really, I love you to bits.'
Grandma yelled 'Merry Christmas' and flopped out her
Tickets to a concert, put on by Lou Rouls
Grandpa stood up and said look at my
Christmas Day, Christmas Day,
You never know what they are going to sing.
We went outside and were gazing at Venus,
Someone remarked at the size of
Uranus and Pluto and Saturn and Mars

'What that fowl smell?' It just Grandma's
Arsenic she keeps on the shelf by the clock, She rubs some each night on your grandfather's
Corns, which are painful from shoes that don't fit.
He feels relief when he sits down to
Christmas Day, Christmas Day,
You never know what they are going to suggest.
Then we all went for a swim in the pool,
Dad said to grandpa, 'You silly old
f*ckwit, get f*cked, you f*cked of with my togs,
Oh shit, now I've sworn and I've f*cked up the.
Song, which was never meant to be this blunt.
Oh f*ck this get f*cked you're a big pack of
Christmas Day, Christmas Day,
You never know what they are going to say.