Potter Puppet Pals My Name Is (Hermione And Ron) Lyrics

Hermione:
My name is Hermione
And I am the best
Yes, I'm unpleasant and whiny
But I ace every test
And though I am committed
To honing my IQ
My friends, they are dimwitted,
And I only have the two

Ron:
My name is Ron Weasley
And I'm also the best
I cry rather easily
And I'm your love interest
We're going to get married
What do you think of that?
My best man will be Harry and
Your bridesmaid will be your cat (probably)

Hermione:
Though I find it depressing
That you're my only option,
If you are, I'm stressing
To settle for adoption
My kids shall not be tainted
By your ugly ginger face
Nor shall we get aquatinted
Any further then first base

Ron (spoken): What's first base?

Hermione (spoken):
Eye contact.

Ron (spoken):
Sexy!

Ron:
Hermione, you're so lovely
I shiver and I shake
Even when you shove me
Into the Great Lake
And when you hold me under
With your dainty foot
If you were any hotter
I would turn to soot

Hermione (spoken):
I wish the rest of you would turn to soot.

Ron (spoken):
Come on, Hermione, you're not that hot, honestly.

[ALTERNATELY]

Ron (spoken):
Soot is a funny word!

Hermione (spoken):
You know what else is a funny word?

Ron (spoken):
What?

Hermione (spoken):
I hate you.

Ron (spoken):
[laughs] You make me laugh, Hermione!