Mrs. Magician I Hate Tour Lyrics

On the way to El Paso
I smoked my weight in cigarettes
And then we played at a shitty show
In front of no one
At the house of rock n roll

And then I sat in a parked car
For an hour while my friends sat in the bar
Getting caught by state police
And I just laughed
As I ducked down in my seat

In an attempt to make me laugh
(??) tore all my cigarettes in half
So I sprayed him with Febreeze
Since he has asthma
Since then he hasn't f*cked with me

We finally made it to New York City
In my opinion the pizza still tastes shitty
And I don't care for broadway shows
And all the kids who say Why don't you just go back home

Then I cried like a little girl
I pissed and moaned and called back home
And they said "Son, sometimes life's not fair
But if you stand up straight and brush your hair
Quit all your shitty bands
And join the army
That's when you'll learn to be a man"

That's when I ran
Back to my friends who were in the van
And I begged just let me stay
I'll stop complaining
And I'll just shut up and play

So it always feel like home
You'll wander through this life alone
And I learned to love the road
And if I hate it
Nobody has to know