Hesh's Wedding Rap Lyrics

We're turning back now, baby. Are you ready?

Hey, piano man, let the beat drop!

Dearly beloved, I would like to welcome you all to this joyous occassion. It is truly a blessing when two such fine people, can find each other and join in holy matrimony.

Hesh wants married sex!

Hey, you!

The groom has requested to read his own vowes. Hesh, the stage is yours.

Yo, yo, yo! Let me see them hands, people!
Hup, hup, huh! Come on now, you can feel the beat!

Remember way back when I was smokin' crack
You were workin' the corner, sellin' that ass
And I took that rusty pipe and gave your head that gash
Then took all your cash and spent it on smack?
I feel bad about that, not really, but yeah

That and the time I made you shave your cat
Oh, and that time I said your ass looked fat Or when I played the back nine while you were takin' a nap

As a matter of fact, I've been a downright jerk
Stealin' cash from your purst, but that ain't the worst
Can't believe I'm the guy who filled your eye with-
We went to the ER and I hit on the nurse

Now we're here in a church to make it official
I love you, you bitch, you're a motherf-in' pistol
Your very hard nipples are worth every wolf whistle
Now say "I do, " your mouth's got a date with my missle

Uh oh. Equipment failure. Hesh beat box fill.
[beat box sounds]

[record scratch]
Sorry, my bad.
[record scratch]
Holmes.

I love you, all-powerful Hesh!

As you should, for Hesh is obviously the most popular character in the Adult Swim line-up proclaim!

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