Mal Webb Designer Dog Lyrics

Poor old designer dog was never ever meant to be
Poor old designer dog, so hairy he can barely see
Poor old designer dog, he's cooking underneath the shag
Poor old designer dog, he doesn't have a tail to wag
But designer dog makes me look good
As I power walk the neighbourhood
He's so ugly and bizarre
He helps us all forget how dull we are

One designer dog's so thin
His bones and organs poke out of his skin
He trembles like a leaf
No pedigree could cover up his grief

Poor old designer dog was never ever meant to be
Poor old designer dog, so hairy he can barely see Poor old designer dog, designed to waddle, wheeze and drool
Poor old designer dog, he doesn't have a sleigh to pull
But designer dog co-ordinates
With all the latest fashion plates
But when he is no longer chic
He'll be down the pound within a week

One designer dog's insane
He's been so inbred he's got no brain
Except a tiny smear
Enough to make him bite you on the ear
You've gotta get a little bit of hybrid vigour
In your litter to make it fitter
You've gotta get a mutt
You've gotta get a mongrel!