Macc Lads Doctor Doctor Lyrics

I've screwed alot of boilers, I've prodded loads of
tarts,
Stabbed some open wounds and I've split them all in
half
Knobbed a lot of women, I've stuffed a load of birds
Shagged a lot of dogs and I've pulled a load of skirt
And there's been a load of whores when I've used a bit
of force,
But they all received the benefit of sexual intercourse
When they make a lot of fuss, it makes me feel sick,
They want a soaking gusset and a more than ample dick

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a
day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my dick -
It hurts when I wank.

I've slammed a lot of crumpet, but its doing them some good,
If they don't like it, they can lump it, they've all
been ugly tugs.
One bitch, she had a flat head, put up quite a fight,
But I found a gob to place my knob,
And a place to put my pint.
I always end up shagging a really smelly bag and
getting down to business
When I just don't want to shag,
Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,
I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a
day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my dick -
It hurts when I wank.