Sunday Times Lyrics

Well, I'm trying to read my Sunday Times; it costs a
nickel & 12 dimes
I bought it late Saturday night; I've almost finished
but not quite
It weighed a ton it seemed to me that each one of them
must take a tree to
& also, I should think, it takes about a gallon of ink

Right off the bat in Section One: who, when, where, how
& what got done
The outlook's bleak, it's clear to see; Section 1
depresses me
All the heavy duty news; it gives you the over-informed
& I'm so relieved when 1's all through; thumb through
1, get on to 2

Now I'm a show-biz kinda guy; the business is my life &
that's no lie
2's one of my favorite parts: Entertainment & Leisure
Which movie's great, which Broadway play; exclamation
points the way
The next time that things get this great is Sports way
up in Section Eight

I hoist the Times into my lap & take some time to heave
some crap
I guess some guys dig Section 3 but Business bores the
pants off me
If you want boring, here's a chore: Week in Review,
that Section 4
& who in the hell wants a review? Once was enough for
me, thank you

After 3 & 4 it's clear you want to get away from here
Escape to somewhere & you'll try; it's time to Travel;
Section 5
Guatamala's always quaint although the right-wing death
squads ain't
Satanic cults down the block; better stay at home,
escape culture shock

The Magazine is Section 6 with food & wine, full-color
So sexy that you gotta stare at all the advertisements
in there
So glossy that the pages stick; flipping one at a
time's a trick
The crossword will keep you up late; & it's camp if
your kids are overweight

Section7, Book Review; it comes with me into the loo
The TV section; that's 11; naturally that goes with 7
7, 11, that's it; I read them there when 'ere I sit &
8 reviews of those who write; leads one to think that
one day one might

You need a job? That's Section 9. You're not jobless?
Hey, that's fine
Section 10 is Real Estate. You're not homeless? Hey,
that's great
This town is so strange; in this town life's subject to
What goes up comes down again. Hold on to 9, hold on to

Well, it's Tuesday & I'm still not done with Sunday's
Times, son of a gun
Monday & Tuesday's still unread; I could have read War
& Peace instead
A great relief I do not doubt when it's time to throw
all of these Times out
Tomorrow I'll buy Wednesday's Times; it's just one
nickel.just one
nickel.just one nickel & three dimes

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