Kurtis Conner The Real Tarzan Lyrics

(Hey Jeremy)

[Intro]
*monkey sounds*
Who the f*ck is claiming to be the real Tarzan?
I'm the real Tarzan, bitch
My dad is a monkey
I'm Tarzan, you're Lil 'Zan

One time I killed a leopard with a spear
It was the best day of my life
Listen up
[Verse 1]
I can throw my shit a quarter mile (aight)
You got no balls, infertile (haha)
Quit sayin' you're the real Tarzan
Or you'll live to regret it
(Like what?) Dhar Mann (ay)

You're a bipedal bitch (what?)
Rockin' running shoes, I reckon (stupid bitch)
And I'm swingin' on vines
Jane said you last 6 seconds (hahaha)

[Verse 2]
Now I got your girl and she all in my tree (yuh)
She wants to get her belt unbuckled (I don't wear belts)
She calling me the MVP
She do the walk of shame on her knuckles (wee)

I'm the real thing, you an imitation (uh)
I'm chillin' with some apes in a river basin (ar ar)
We all yelling, ain't no conversation (aaah!)
'Cause we're monkeys and we're masturbatin' [Verse 3]
Now I may not be a monkey genetically (uh)
Homo sapiens technically (true)
I be climbin' trees in Yosemite (uh)
You're monkeying around pathetically (bitch)
Call me Key, I'm surrounded by peel
Legit raised by monkeys, it's not a big deal
Like a baboon, yeah my ass is out
You're smellin' my finger, you're passin' out (see ya)

[Verse 4]
Suck my dick, no homo erectus
Deforestation, someone protect us
Hunted for sport like they tryna eject us
When monkeys smile, it's just so infectious

Sorry 'bout that, got carried away (my bad)
Just like the lady in King Kong (yuh)
I'm bangin' on my chest all day
Pee in my mouth with my ding dong (what the f*ck dude?)

[Outro]
Nah, have you seen that video, the- of the monkey peeing in his own mouth?
I-I-I actually filmed that video, I know that guy pretty well
He did- he was- he doesn't always do that
He just had too much banana liqueur, but.. it's-it's whatever
I'm the real Tarzan, so..