Key Of Awesome Mistletoe Lyrics

I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Cops let me sing in the f*ckin' street.
My life is an endless buffet of hoes.
Been a pimp ever since my voice got low.

Christmas is the time for charity.
So I'm a'let you sit somewhat close to me.
I could be partyin' with hookers and blow.
But, instead I'm here with you on the down low.

With you~
Slummin' with you
Hey you~
You're only a two.
Oooooooh~
We're dating on the down low, maybe.

You don't need that seat in front of the fire.
You can stay warm with your spare tire.
Don't know why you self-esteem is low.
Be sure to duck down if you see my bro's.

My Christmas list has a wish to make you cuter.
Just like the chicks that work down at Hooter's.
Here comes one now, girl you gotta go.
No wait, stay here and hold the mistletoe.

Ewwww~
I stepped in some poo.
Would you~
Scrape off my shoes?
They're new~
You look like you're going to throw up. (Watch the Jordan's yo)

Jesus was born in a barn.
Could you get out and push the car?
We're making a left on the interstate.

Why do you complain so much?
Your butt looks big with that crutch.
Don't forget we're going Dutch.
Did I mention that is Christmas?

I can't decide which girl I like best.
Maybe I should have you fight to the death.
I know I don't treat you like I should.
But, I send you an autograph and it's all good.

You are not the girl that I prefer.
When I go out with her you can be the chauffeur.
Here comes the turn.
Hey where did you go?~
I never really learned to drive.
(Ohhhh nooooo!)

That was totally rude
Who are you?~
Maternity suit?!
I'm screwed.~
Let's keep this on the down low, baby.

Hello?
Hello?
Yo, how do you make the phone call someone back?
Hmmm, what would Aqua-Man do in this situation?