Quite often i'd get to thinking
how as kids we got by, like at Christmas time at our
we couldn't even afford a fire,
but we made due with what we had back then when I was
dad used to suck a peppermint,
and we'd all sit aound his tounge,
we couldn't afford no sparkley tinsel for our christmas
so we'd just wheel old grandad in, and make the old
"Wheel him 'round the other side nanna"
But things changed pretty bloody quick, I got kids now
of me own,
and I heard 'em unrap their prezzies
last night when I got home.
Hey Santa claus you cunt!
Where's me f*cking bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing
that I like.
I wrote you a f*cking letter and I come to see you
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me f*cking bike.
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove
right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey
Me sisters dirty too!
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me f*cking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on
I'll give you f*cking ho ho ho
You forgot me f*cking pram
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the
And I'll let your f*cking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf
in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it
Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even
'Cause the old f*cking wanker Forgot me f*cking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your f*cking
"I saw mummy sucking santa clause"