Josh Woodward The Handyman's Lament Lyrics

When I drop a plate, I sweep the shards of glass into the trash When I pop an E string, I can change a new one in a flash But when you break, I'm stuck without a clue I never learned to fix a thing like you

When the server's down, you sudo /sbin/reboot in a shell When the market tanks, you call a broker, tell him "sell sell sell" But when you're down, I don't know what to do I never learned to fix a thing like you

I'll lend an ear To find out what I need to repair But I will try and dry your eyes and fix the scattered parts Yeah, I will learn to mend your troubled heart
When I cut my hand, I grab the Neosporin from the shelf When I stub my toe, I curse in flowing verses to myself But when you hurt, I'm stuck without a clue I never learned to fix a thing like you

When a faucet leaks, I tighten up the gasket with a wrench When a toilet's stuck, I plunge it down before the floor is drenched But when you cry, I don't know what to do I never learned to fix a thing like you

[Chorus]

I know, I'm slow I've got so much to learn But you'll see, I'll be The place that you can turn

[Chorus x 2]