Jon Lajoie Fuck Everything Lyrics

Yo, other rappers claim to not give a f*ck
Well, step aside, bitches
Cause I give the lowest amount of f*ck humanly possible

(I don't give a f*ck)
About anything, f*ck everyone and f*ck everything
(I don't give a f*ck)
I literally don't give a f*ck about anything

I don't give a f*ck about motherf*ckin' anything
People care about shit, I say, "f*ck everything"
f*ck you, f*ck me, f*ck the sky, f*ck trees
f*ck the sun, I don't need heat or vitamin D
And f*ck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And f*ck coasters, I use a little plate instead
And f*ck roosters, with your useless cock-a-doodle-doo
We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you
Don't give a f*ck about chairs, I prefer to stand
And f*ck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And f*ck the movie "The Fan", starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition Man's" the only Snipes movie I like
And f*ck likin' shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a f*ck about not likin' all the shit I don't like
Like tissues, f*ck 'em, I'll blow my nose on the couch
And f*ck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a f*ck about seeing, bitch, f*ck my eyes
f*ck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind
And f*ck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long, they should be half-an-hour at most
And f*ck coasts, don't give a f*ck about where water meets land
And f*ck boats, just cause you float, you think you're so f*ckin' bad?
And f*ck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but

(I don't give a f*ck)
About anything, f*ck everyone and f*ck everything
(I don't give a f*ck)
I literally don't give a f*ck about anything

Walked into a coffeeshop and ordered a cup
The girl said, "small, medium, large?" I said, "bitch, I don't give a f*ck!"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a f*ck, alright!"
Don't give a f*ck about beverage size options, motherf*cker
And I don't give a f*ck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a f*ck about straight sex
And f*ck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
And f*ck biological functions, f*ck the human body
I prefer the body of bat and the head of a coyote
I call myself "Batyodi" and I fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman, but motherf*ck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday
Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
And f*ck birth, enterin' the world of space and time is a bitch
Searchin' for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a f*ck about ice cube trays?
If I want ice, I'll go to the f*ckin' corner store and buy a bag
Fillin' you up and waitin' for the water to freeze is a motherf*ckin' drag
You know what? f*ck the word f*ck, I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus

(I don't give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything

If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a f*ck the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a f*ck about winnin', yo
And don't even give a f*ck about not givin' a f*ck
So I do give a f*ck - wait, what?

(I give a f*ck)
About everything, I love everyone and care 'bout everything
(I give a f*ck)
I literally care about every motherf*ckin' thing