Heywood Banks If I Had A Bulldozer Lyrics

In this day and age,
In this big old troubled world,
Where the little guy ain't got a chance
There's only one thing I can think of
That could make a difference...

If I had a bulldozer
Everything would be so fine
I would never have to move it over
Never have to stand in line

If I had a bulldozer
There’d be lots of parking places
I'd just look for that brand-new Corvette
Taking up two spaces

If I had a diesel rig,
With a big old blade,
Treads just like a tank,
I would have it made
Courtesy would reign,
Arguments would cease,
'Cause everyone would know
I'd squash them like a cheeeeeeeese!!!

If I had a bulldozer
My application would go through My boss would run to get my coat
If I decided to leave by two

If I had a bulldozer
The IRS would never chide
And you know an audit would really go quickly
With a 'dozer idling outside

If I had a diesel rig,
With a big old blade,
Treads just like a tank,
I would have it made
Courtesy would reign,
Arguments abate,
'Cause everyone would know
I'd squash them like a graaaaaaaaape!!!

If I had a bulldozer
All the doors would open up
People'd treat me with a lot more respect
Or I'd knock 'em down and squash 'em up

If I had a diesel rig,
With a big old blade
The world would be a better place!