Half Man Half Biscuit Ballad Of Climie Fisher Lyrics

Now here comes a story that’s never been told
About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher
They had their success and they went separate ways

Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC
Education Department; rented a flat in Norbury, South
London. Climie moved into the gravel business, with his
brother. Theirs was the place to go for White Dolomite
and Canterbury Spur. It was a small but profitable
operation, specialised in large driveways. Top of the
range was called a “Hadleigh”; so named after the TV
series.

Now keep this in mind
Fisher hates gravel
And Fisher hates shale
It goes right through him

In the spring of 1995, Climie did an interview for
“Mixed Aggregate” magazine, in which he criticised his
ex-partner for not giving him the credit he felt he
deserved during their days of chart stardom. Fisher
read the article, became incensed, and started a smear
campaign against the brothers’ business which proved
immensely damaging. When Climie eventually found out
who it was that had been trying to destroy his livelihood, he swore revenge – this time with a full-
page statement in “Asphalt”. One hundred pound a word.
Spent his last five hundred pounds to say: “You’re a
dead man, Fisher.”

Now here comes a story that’s never been told

In the meantime, Fisher had started to pine for his
music, and decided to get a band together. Do a few
gigs; nothing serious, just enjoy it, see what happens,
kinda thing. Thought it might be fun to do some out-of-
the-way venues. So it passed that on October the 3rd
1995, he took to the stage at the Duke Of Marlborough
pub in Amesbury, on the south-eastern edge of Salisbury
Plain. Well of course Climie had somehow found out
about all this, and was standing right in front of
Fisher with pockets full of gravel. Thirty seconds into
the first song and he’s raining his stones down at
Fisher’s feet. Well the music stops. Fisher goes
beserk. Mayhem. Police cars.

I’ll tell you a story that’s never been told