Ethan Jewell Why Am I Not Better Lyrics

{Verse 1}
How long will this crying alone in my room be artsy?
Because eventually, I'll drown in my tears
And my friends will get tired of the same words spoken by my lying tongue and I'll be left behind
How long until all of this gets old and I'm actually ready to die?
And not just saying it to waste the time

{Chorus}
Why am I not better yet?
It's been so many years, so many tears
And I'm forgetting how to sleep
And I'm forgetting how to eat

{Verse 2}
Don't post positive quotes
That doesn't help me
I'm severеly ill and you're not helping
My mind is twisted and you'rе not helping
My body is bleeding and you're not helping
Because this illness isn't cute
It's not for writing beautiful poetry
It's not for singing pretty chords
It's not for you to be there for me, it's not for me to be understood This isn't helping
{Bridge}
None of this is helping
None of this is helping

{Chorus}
Why am I not better yet?
It's been so many years, so many tears
And I'm forgetting how to sleep
And I'm forgetting how to eat
Why am I not better yet?
Why am I not better yet?

{Verse 3}
Because the clock is ticking fast
And I know that I'll be gone soon
But it's hard to look forward to tomorrow when all of the days are the same
Maybe if I take cold showers it'll help my brain
If I go on walks, meditate I should feel relief
But nothing helps
I'll wake up, world of grey, lost ambitionless, empty wandering, hopeless
Another day, losing sleep, losing focus, losing friends, is this the end?

{Outro}
Why am I not better yet?