Remedial Science Lyrics

I had a hot dinner date with a really sweet lady who
majored in Physics
I was a scientist too
So I thought it might go OK

But when she found out that my degree was awarded for
Chemistry she sort of sneered
Clearly she found me contemptible
In some way

And then she said:

Where do you people get off?
Dabbling around in remedial science?
All you do all day is turn the paper pink or blue

While I examine the very state of existence as we know
You fool around with compounds
Haven't you something better that you could do?

Than remedial science
Than remedial science
Than remedial science
Than just being
A remedial scientist
A charlatan scientist
You make me sick

I felt moved to defend my profession but she gave me no
chance to fit a word in edgeways
Clearly, I'd touched a nerve by just breathing in and

And when she stood up she pulled the tablecloth and
emptied soup into my lap
I knew the date was over
To be honest it hadn't gone well

And I said:

Where does Physics get off?
Trying to kill God and replacing Jesus?
Splitting hadrons everywhere, to create a black hole

The atom bomb wasn't enough?
You have to spawn antimatter and blow up the planet
Dabbling with stuff that you don't understand

In a dangerous science
In a dangerous science
In a dangerous science

Whereas chemisty
Sweet chemistry
Is the science of love
The science of love
The science of love
The science of love
Love.... Ooooooh

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