Well it was on this monday morning and the day be calm and fine
A harbour grace excursion with the boys who had the time
And just before the sailor took the gangway from the pier
I saw some fellow haul me wife aboard as a volunteer
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
Oh me, oh my, I think I'm gonna die!
Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say,
"I wish I'd never taken this excursion around the bay"
We had fourteen hundred souls aboard, oh what a splendid sight!
Left stong and regimental to make our spirits bright
And meself being in the double, when a funny things they'd say
They choke themselves from laughing when they'd see us in the bay
Me wife she got no better, she turned a sickly green
I fed her cake and candy, fat pork and kerosene
Castor Oil and sugar of candy, I rubbed pure oil on her face
And I said she'll be a dandy when we reaches Harbour Grace!
My wife she got no better, my wife me darling dear
The screeches from her trollear could hear in Carbonear
I tried every place in Harbour Grace, Tried every store and shop,
To get her something for a cure or take her to the hop
She died below the brandy's as we were coming back
We buried her in the ocean, wrapped up in a Union Jack
So now I am a single man, in search of a pretty face
And the woman that says she'll have me, I'm off for Harbour Grace!