Beardfish The Gooberville Ballroom Dancer Lyrics

He was a filthy motherf*cker,
by the name of Dwight.
He only bathed 'bout once a year,
he didn't smell allright.
His father was a drunken bastard,
couldn't do things right.
His mother died while she was giving birth,
when she saw her Dwight.

He had the great ambition to be one who girls would adore.
And if he could have the chance to flourish in a wild romance...

...He could be a fraud or a fake just like those guys on TV

"Dwight thought about it for a while and then it occured to him, all he had to do to be popular in Gooberville, where he lived, was to come up with something he was really good at. The problem was that the only thing he'd ever been remotely interested by in his youth was ballrom dancing. But if I could find a way, he thought, to combine the ballrom dancing with the fiersome attitude of more present day youth activities..."

...I could be the king of a generation lost in a daze.
Salsa, cha-cha, pasodoble,
blended in the hardcore pace.

He could dance it all â€" he would never fall
Women by his side â€" rhymin', going wild
He would take `em all!

He took all the money he had saved,
sold his comicbooks too
Bought a baby-blue custom-made gabardine-suite with ”matching” turkoise dancing-shoes
He took a shower at least once a week,
and now he smelled all right.
His mother really would be proud of him,
if she could see her Dwight. Then it was time to show Gooberville what talent Dwight had concealed.
Who would have thought that smelly brat could pull off such sex appeal.

He was now the king of the floor'
and noone could match his moves.
All except the lovely Eve,
dressed in silk with natural gloom.

They pulled off a stunt â€" sliding 'cross the floor
He could feel her breasts & her eyes wanted more
He would take her home!
And then slide her knickers down...

Who would have thought a man like him could do such a thing?
“What is it, afrodisiak or something?”

Who would have thought that women lined up by his door to ask him out to the dancefloor?
“Would you go to the park with me this Friday?” “Nah, maybe next week, allright sweetie!”

The sexual experts unified opinion:
"It is now established that the reason Dwight has luck with ladies is clam-exctract vaporizing from his greasy hair! "
And all the professors say;
“This is a damn miracle we must take him down here and run some tests!”

Doesn`t matter if you`re a fraud just like those guys who're uptight.
You could be a jerk or a nerd just like that goobervill Dwight,
and he's alright.
yes he is!

He was a filthy motherf*cke,
by the name of Dwight.
He was a filthy motherf*cker,
now he is alright .