Barry Louis Polisar Never Cook Your Sister In A Frying Pan Lyrics

Never cook your sister in a frying pan
Or boil her in water and take her by the hand
And throw her off a cliff or try to make her fall
'Cause these things aren't very nice at all

You might not like her but don't knock her off her bike;
Fighting is normal, but normal ain't right
Don't put her in a bucket and drop her down a well
Or put her in the oven and try to sell
Her to the nice old man who lives down the street
Don't hit her with your hand or kick her with your feet

Don't tie her to a tree and leave her in the woods For the bears and the snakes and you never should
Lock her in the closet or throw her in the snow
Or flush her down the toilet or steal her clothes
If you do these things then what you do
Is not becomming to a boy like you

You better be careful when she's nice and small
Don't beat her with a bat or hit her with a ball
Don't put her in a barrel and roll her down the road
'Cause it all goes against the gentleman's code
Besides, she might grow up and be bigger, too
And turn around and do it all to you