Alix Olson Eve's Mouth Lyrics

Eve's mouth hurts from trying not to laugh
At some joke some scholar made
About her being someone's half
It was a joke, a lie, exaggeration, a fib
And now you all believe I came from his rib

She screams at the top of her lungs:
"I'm whole! I'm body, I'm heart, I'm mind, I'm soul"

Well, Queen Victoria gave her daughter some advice
As her daughter shook and trembled on her wedding night
Queen Victoria, she said to her daughter:
"Baby, lie still and think of the Empire."
And her husband, though kind and mild
He never stopped to wonder why she never smiled
Little Red Riding Hood was walking down the trail
She was carrying the goodies
Thought "They'll go stale"
So, she ate 'em all up and that was that
Then, she threw them all up, fear of getting fat
Cause even Red Riding Hood reads magazines
The ones prescribing diets for pre-teens

Now, we've got Cinderella, she's chilling at home
Quite content with being alone
She is playing with the mice and singing with the birds
And they're the only ones who ever heard these words
She said "I'll get in the damn pumpkin. Do it all right
Weep and lose my slipper, freak out at midnight
But there's one thing that the prince might not like
It's the Fairy god I'm after, I'm a dyke. "

She screams at the top of her lungs "I'm whole
I'm body, I'm heart, I'm mind, I'm soul"
She screams at the top of her lungs "I'm whole I'm body, I'm heart, I'm mind, I'm soul"

So we've got Snow White, she's a homemaker of sorts
Cause she cleans and she cooks and she takes care of dwarves
One day, I said "Snow White, go back to school"
She said "No, I can't, I'd feel like a fool
You know, it's hard for us women to try to be ourselves
We spend our whole damn lives taking care of little elves
Now, Helen of Troy, they say, launched a thousand ships
With the short of her skirt and the shape of her lips
And when that old bard lay the blame at her face
For the rape of a nation
Wrong time, Wrong place
Helen simply whispered, "History's our test
Look between the lines, girls, read beneath the text. "

Now we've got to Rapunzel, she's chilling in the tower
Waiting for the handsome prince
She's sapped of all her power
Finally, one day, the handsome prince in town
Called up to Rapunzel, "Yo girl, let it down!"
But our dear Rapunzel was nowhere to be seen
Yes our dear Rapunzel had learned something keen
"All that time alone kinda taught me how to cope
So I shaved my head and I made me a rope!"

She screams at the top of her lungs, "I'm whole
I'm body, I'm heart, I'm mind, I'm soul"
She screams at the top of her lungs, "I'm whole
I'm body, I'm heart, I'm mind, I'm soul"
She screams