Alan Return To Camp Granada Lyrics

Hello Mother Hello Father
I am back at Camp Granada
and I'm writing you this letter
just to say my compound fracture's getting better.
No one here knows where my trunk is
and my bunk is where the skunk is
and this years the food's improving
cause the little black things in it are not moving.
The camp nurse is quite a swimmer
she says swimming makes you slimmer.
Her name's Mrs. Pellagrini,
Have you ever seen a whale in a bikini!
All our bathrooms have such thin doors
gee I wish they'd move them indoors.
We're all tired of Mother Goose here
so next Friday night they're having Lenny Bruce here! Let me stay, oh Mother Father,
Let me stay! I love Granada
Every night the camp fire's really keen
Oh, Ma, please send some Unguentine.
Let me stay up here in mother nature's land
and tip-toe through the tulips grand
To leave would be a shame,
besides, I'd miss the poker game.
Please don't worry, Father, Mother
I'll take care of little brother
he plays ball here and he rows here
and I hope they teach him how to blow his nose here.
He wakes up at half past 6 and
goes directly to the quick sand.
He was lonely, now he's better.
He's like all of us except his bed is wetter!