So someone said to me the other day Iíve got a lisp.
A stranger you know they said Iíve got a subtle lisp
and I should know I sound a little stupid doing spoken
words when all my words have S in them are spoken so
And Iím not upset, okay it just sucks.
You think youíre speaking normally for two decades and
find out your stuff sounds like a stanza of Severus
Snapes toughest parseltounge is pronounced by daffy
So I will say this.
My subtle lisp is not sinful. Iím not sorry Saturday,
Iím not sorry Sunday; Iím spiritual and when I speak I
celebrate the Sabbath seven days a week.
I've got special S sauce all smothered on my skull
walls like a tossed salad so silk screen the Sistine
ceiling on my soft pallet.
I sing along with super seensters reciting Sufjan
Stevens songs in skinny jeans.
Dance salsa with soccer moms sneaking out in skimpy
I will answer your questions in stout with my sexy
subtly lisping sparkling incisor small.
Whatís my surname? Watsky.
Whatís my size? Stocky.
My city? San Francisco itís so sweet now slow c.
See, Iíve heard some steamy stories of oral sex but Iím
not stretching to say one time, I made a lady climax by
speaking an S-y section of a Shakespeare sonnet in her
split legs general direction.
I scribble all S Essays I shred them and sprinkle the
whole S ashes. My speech doesnít give a spotted sea
snail if it passes. I slipped pass straight Fís to
straight Sís in my classes because my speech stay
second semester senior status.
Seriously so so so so soon, so sick sixth grade kids
call me sofa king Iím on tongue steroids, slammin with
the Sammie Sosa swing, so tight I sleep upright in a
small cell in Sing Sing and sail the seven seas on
Steve Irwinís sting ray while your speed boats sinking.
Itís still too soon.
Anyway screw an S.S.O.S Iím straight S.S.S for save
someoneís standards. Studied at Emerson the school of
I spit sexier than Summer Sanders, Sarah Silverman,
Susan Sarandon, Sissy Spacek, Sally Struthers, and
Selena, spooning, in a 6-way same sex all S celebrity
So, you can slander the gay lisp and I will slip you a
solid list of friends, or 60% of Emerson; who, lisp or
no lisp, will stop, spit, stay pissed, and start all
over on the racists.
You can save the South Korean stereotypes, the Sambo
shtick, the sexist **** is sickening.
And if you suppose your speech is normal, its cause
your impediment is listening.
Speak for those of us with something special. Something
that sets us aside from my accent havers, my
stammerers, my southerners, my st-st-stutterers, yes I
will spit it sick and stick to never skipping S.
Cause I was, sucking on a soup spoon and I suckled it
to sterling silver simple supple super soaker staying
watching sister sister scenage syllables coming
esophagus move over thereís this place in second place
isolate oxygen thereís no stopping this I start this
step of speaking you should see that I will not desist
Iím sorry, Cupsy; If you donít like a subtle lisp, but
you can simply suck on thissssssss