Zach Sherwin Flag Roast Lyrics

[INTRO]
It's a flag roast, I'm gonna roast some flags
And I don't want to show off, boast, or brag
But you know I've got the devastating gags and jokes
I'm getting agro; It's a flag roast
I mean I murder flags when I put 'em on blast
All surviving flags should be at half mast
Show me any flag and that flag's toast
Listen close, it's a flag roast

[ISLE OF MAN]
I verbally defile banners in a highly vile manner
Hey, Isle of Man, I demand some answers
Why's your logo so bizarre?
Three disembodied legs fused into a ninja throwing star?
Don't get me wrong though, your self-esteem should be strong
You came up with the three-strap thong
And of all the world's flags yours is top of the list
In terms of the amount of crotch it depicts

[BHUTAN; WALES]
Here's Bhutan, I want to commend them
Congrats guys, you really nailed it on the emblem
The symbol of your heritage and glory?
Falcor, the Luck Dragon from the NeverEnding Story
C'mon, I'm just goofing Bhutansters
That dragon on your flag is the scariest of monsters
Although, he looks pretty frail and he fails
When you weigh him on the scales against this bad ass from Whales

Right? That's a way tougher dragon
If they got to scrapping, imagine what would happen I'll do some reenactin':
RAAH
RRR
RAAH
RRR
PTCH PTCH

[MONACO; INDONESIA; SINGAPORE; POLAND]
Monaco's design was fine, but it was stolen
By Indonesia, Singapore, and Poland!
You all should be ashamed that you came to such a lame decision
That's flag plagiarism, or flagiarism

[MAURITANIA]
Flags get laced like High Tops
You better brace for the flag bombs I drop
Here's Mauritania
Or as I call it: The Jolly Green Cyclopes

[ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA]
And not to make you blush or turn crimson
But the flag of Antigua and Barbuda is kind of like glimpsin'
A first-person view of performing oral sex on Lisa Simpson

Right?
You got the hair and the pink thighs and the dress and the underwear
Look, the Simpsons premiered in 1989
She's a grown woman by now
This is not creepy

[OUTRO]
"Did he talk about Lisa Simpson's vag? Gross!"
Toughen up wimps, it's a flag roast!
Man, if flags had feet, they'd get their toes tagged
I put 'em in body bags when I roast flags
You should pity any flag that I zing
Cause dag, the sting is agonizing
I'm that dude who will rag on your flag the most
Zach Sherwin with the flag roast