The Most Offensive Song Ever Lyrics

Howdy Ho.

[Mr. Hankey & Kenny]

The Virgin Mary was sleepin'
When Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother."
And Mary thought that was weird.

Mary said, "I'm not a virgin.
I blew a guy last year."
But then Gabriel said to Mary
"My child, have no fear."

'Cause, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want,
And still not be considered flawed.
Although you went to town
and sucked some semen down,
You're still a virgin in the eyes of God.

There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
But they were so very tired, you see,
And Mary had to offer a bribe.

Since she had no money,
How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary
And told her not to weep.

'Cause you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the inn, then it's not considered a sin
to suck some dick to get a room for the night.

Then, three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch.

Mary thought she might pleasure them
But could not take them to bed.
But again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said:

You can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want
Every one that hangs in the nation.
Fellatio ain't no sin.
Go on and blow those Three Wise Men
And you'll still be a virgin 'cause there was no penetration!

So, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
The donkey and the ox and the lambs
And even the little drummer boy
folks will remember your name quick.
They'll say "Damn, that bitch could suck a dick!"
'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy.

'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy.
Mary, Mary suck that dick.

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