Professor Elemental Sweet Cold Colation Lyrics

Elemental: Darling! Sweet heart I'm home!
The Voyage was a success. 9 years later here I am
Hmmmm

Wife: Do you like my dress of cakes?

Elemental: I'm ever so peckish

Wife: You like it? You like it alot?

Elemental: I don't suppose I could just try..

Wife: No! Frankly no, you'll never touch me again!

Elemental: Before I take elevenses, professor stays to play the wrist
A cakey dress, a sexy miss. I best not make a mess of this
If you cover my love with your truffles and dumplings, I'll cover you up with my custard and something
I'll spank you on the Battenburg (oooh). Try your icing, quite superb!
So lets fly my pretty songbird, I can't wait a moment longer!

Wife: Since you've been away dear I've been so lonely
All I have is baking and going simple slowly I've whipped my eggs till custard, smeared it over my gentle frame
Floured, pale and lusty, baked myself a cake of very dainty pastries
Because you left me waiting all you'll have are savouries
I'll give it away to ladies who lunch, and lady brumfink can have me for brunch
Even servants can take their time. I'll leave a trail of Chantilly cream behind

Since you've been away dear I've been so lonely
All I have is baking and going simple slowly
(repeats once in background)

Elemental: But look my dear, you seem in pain perhaps my tools can ease the strain
I'll use my drill, your face I'll reach, eat your cake and take your teeth!

Wife: AUGHHH! Oh no!
Elemental: HAHAHAHAHa! This won't hurt a bit!