Mel Brooks Please Don't Touch Me Lyrics

Elizabeth]
Dream all you want my darling
Of every lustful situation
Those naughty thoughts
Are fine with me
As long as they
Stay locked away
In your imagination

You can hug me til I scream
If it's only in a dream
But please don't touch me
You can feel me til I squeal
Just as long as it's not real
But please don't touch me

You can stick me
You can lick me
You can pinch me til I'm blue
You can bite me
And delight me til I'm blind
You can savage me
And ravage me
I care not what you do
If the lovely filthy things you do
Are only in your mind

You can spank me til I'm red
If it's only in your head
But please don't touch me
You can have me don't you see
If it's just a fantasy
But please don't touch me

[spoken]
Oh Freddie, darling, I know that you're a virgin.

[Frederick Frankenstein]
Yes, for me, science has always come first.

[Elizabeth]
And as every guy in New York knows - I come first too.

After our wedding
You'll be oh so glad we waited
Until then
Take cold showers when you're overstimulated

Anticipation is sublime
And although you might think I'm
A tease
Please don't touch me

[Female pedestrian]
Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching.
[Male pedestrian]
It must be "Please Don't Touch Me,"
the new dance craze that's sweeping catholic girl
schools all over the midwest.

[Female pedestrian]
Oh what fun! Let's try it.

[Chorus]
Please don't
Please don't
Please don't touch me

[Elizabeth]
Do not hug us
Do not drug us
Do not slug us til we cry
Do not throb us
Do not rob us of our wits

[Male chorus]
We won't poke you
We won't stroke you
Til we're just about to die

[Elizabeth]
But even in your wildest dreams
Don't dare to touch our tits
Don't dare to touch our tits

[Female chorus]
Don't dare to touch our tits
Don't touch our tits
Don't touch our tits
Don't touch our

[Elizabeth]
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits!
Our tits!

When we're absolutely wed
You can do it til we're dead

[Frederick Frankenstein]
Elizabeth!

[Chorus]
Til then please, please, please
We're down on our knees

[Elizabeth]
Please keep your hands off these

[Chorus & Elizabeth]
Please don't touch me

[Chorus]
We won't touch you

[Elizabeth]
Please don't touch me

[Chorus]
We won't touch you

[Chorus & Elizabeth]
She's so touchy

[Elizabeth]
OH!