Max Bygraves Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'be Lyrics

Hey do me a favour
They changed our local Palais into a bowling alley and
Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
There's Teds wiv drainpipe trousers and debs in coffee houses and
Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
There used t’be trams not very quick
Got you from place to place
But now there's just jams half a mile thick
Stay in the human race
I'm walking!
They’ve stuck parking meters outside our doors to greet us, no
Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
Cor! monkeys flying round the moon
We'll be up there wiv ‘em soon
Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
Once our beer was froffy but now its froffy coffee well Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
It used t’be fun, Dad an old Mum paddling down Southend
But now it ain't done
Never mind, chum
Paris is where we spend our outings !
Grandma tries to shock us all
Doin’ knees-up rock ‘n’ roll
Fings ain't wot they used t’be (chorus)
We used to have stars
Singers who sung
A Dixie melody
They’re buying guitars plinkety plunk
Backing themselves with three chords only
Once we'd dance from 12 to 3
I've got news for Elvis P
Fings ain't wot they used ta
Did the lot we used ta
Fings ain't wot they used ta be