Lemon Demon Future! Lyrics

Good morning, people of humbler times!
My associates and I, we come to you from the future.
That's right, we come from the future and we have many stories to tell.
Stories of war, stories of science, oh yes, things that will change your lives forever.
But all we're prepared to divulge today is this cryptic song:

in the year 2004, we were opening the door
to a pathway full of sunny looking times
in the year 2005, stopwatch futures took a dive
leaving us with nothing more than cents and dimes

in the years we've yet to see
we do not know, but we agree
that there will be no rest
we'll pass our test
become obsessed and free

in the year 2006, we discovered magic tricks
which we used for waging war against the odds
in the year 2007, they invited us to Heaven
and we plundered the Casino of the Gods

in the years we've yet to know there is no rain, there's only snow
and there will be no sound
no sky, no ground
so turn around and go, and go

in the year 2008, Don LaFontaine sealed our fate
in the shady corner of Pandora's Box
in the year 2009, we turned water into wine
then to Diet Dr. Pepper on the rocks

in the years we've yet to see
we do not know, but we agree
that there will be no rest
we'll pass our test
become obsessed and free

in the year 2010, we were out the door again
but our methods of respect were misconstrued
in the year 2011, we were summoned back to Heaven
for a lecture of unearthly magnitude

in the year 2012, we were sadly forced to delve
into a leather-bound compendium or two
in the year 2013, we destroyed the new machine
thus completing what we thought we'd never do