Josh Groban Press Conference Lyrics

Soloist (Male):
Does your opponent deserve such abuse?

Freddie:
All Soviets deserve abuse.

Soloist (Female):
But even you must concede he can play.

Freddie:
Sure, he’s the best red on the circuit, I’ll give him that.

Soloist (Male):
He hasn’t lost for a long time; he could be a tough nut to crack.

Freddie:
Listen, if he gets one game off me, it’s because I want to keep press interest going.

Soloists:
Why do you persist with vicious attacks, ungracious remarks re: opponents, it smacks of a lack of conviction- admit you’re under duress, or that your only skill left is for money not chess. If Soviet life is as grim as you claim, then how come the boys are so good at the game? Though you swear the American dream is clearly the best, you’re no advertisement for life and times in the west.

Soloist (Male):
Why did you risk the whole match breaking down?

Freddie:
I don’t know what you’re saying. What are you implying?

Soloist (Female):
All your outrageous demands, such conceit.

Freddie:
I don’t see anything outrageous about demanding what I’m worth.

Soloist (Male):
They pay you all that you ask for and then you demand even more.

Freddie:
I am the reason you’re all here! Who had heard of Sergievsky?

Soloists:
It’s hard to believe what we’re reporting. Why so disparaging? Not very sporting.

Freddie:
Are the Communists sporting? My God!

Soloists:
Tell all this to the United Nations. Are you an asset to east/west relations? Freddie:
What is this? What have the Russians ever done for “east/west relations”? Have you people got any serious questions?

Soloist (Female):
Will you be quitting for good if you lose?

Soloist (Male):
How come your second’s a girl, lover boy?

Freddie:
What did you say?

Soloist (Male):
How come your second’s a girl, lover boy?

Soloists:
Well, what did I say? He’s out of his tree, he’s finally flipped and between you and me, he’s no hope of retaining his crown in his frame of mind, in fact he shouldn’t have come here, he should have resigned.

Florence (Same time as soloists):
Smile! You’ve got your first exclusive story. Now you can bask in his reflected glory. “Naked, unprovoked, Yankee aggression” Oh, what a credit to your great profession!

Soloists (Same time as Florence):
Well, what did I say? He’s out of his tree, he’s finally flipped and between you and me, he’s no hope of retaining his crown in his frame of mind, in fact he shouldn’t have come here, he should have resigned. In his frame of mind he should have come, he should resign, when he is in his frame of mind, he shouldn’t come he should resign, when he is in his frame of mind, he shouldn’t come he should resign.

Soloists:
Well, what did I say? He’s out of his mind, he’s finally flipped- he should have resigned.