JONATHAN COULTON


Skullcrusher Mountain Lyrics

Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing
them to me

Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a
gift for you?

Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the
atmosphere
And all the fools who lead their foolish lives may find
it quite explosive
Well, it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have
you here

You know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher
Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient, I’ve been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think
about me and you

Oh and I’m so into you
But I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m crazy
I’m not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You’d see the voices that control me from inside my
head
Say I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet
I shouldn’t kill you yet

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Songwriter(s): Jonathan William Coulton
Record Label(s): 2004 Jonathan Coulton
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