Hyper Crush Intro Lyrics

[Whole song is spoken word]

This guy, I don't get it is he like a poster child for someone?
For your information, Butthead, he's headed for the video championships in Los Angeles.
Is that right? Well let's just see how good he is then. Guys, pick any game you want. I'm good at all of 'em. I have ninety-seven of them.
You know ALL ninety-seven of them?

What is that?
I don't know.
Geez.
I love to powerglove. It's so bad.

Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis is the best video game ever.
I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Donkey kong sucks!
You know something, you suck!

Fifty thousand? You got fifty thousand on Double Dragon?!

You are now in the Hyper Crush Future Machine. Please prepare for speeds In excess of Mach 5. Energy levels will begin to rise at a rapid rate. If you are faint of heart or experience dizziness from flashing lights, please leave now. For those of you who are ready for absolute digital meltdown, begin creating noise in: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
No sensei.
Prepare...

Donny you ready?
Preston you ready?
Holly you ready?
Let's get the familiar hyper crush!

So... what would you little maniacs like to do first?