Hot Mulligan This Makes Me Yucky Lyrics

[Interlude]
So there's this kid and he starts school
And he makes his friends and he gets good grades
And he starts, y'know, growing up out the ground all around him are these monoliths
There's these huge ghosts
And their heads are the size of semi-trucks
Jutting out of the ground all around them
He finds that only he can see them
Anyone else would be scared, but this kid
Thought to himself, "I'm special, I'm important"
"These big ghosts all around are some sort of gift"
And he sees with each A+ and new friend and poem he writes, these gigantic ghosts grow taller
"I must be helping them, and maybe they're helping me, right?"
So he gets a little older, and he's thriving
And he can see the ghosts' elbows now
High school starts, and he goes to a different school than his friends
"More opportunities," he thinks
The first day, he tells a joke to break the ice with the first person who looks nice to him, and it falls flat
The other kid wanders off and later, whispers and spreads little rumors about the new weirdo and his weird jokes When our boy leaves school that day
He notices these massive ghosts hands are freed from the ground
"What did I do?" he thinks
The next day, he steps on someone's shoes and they chew him out
And now the ghosts are out up to their thighs
"How am I helping them? I'm still special right? They're climbing out thanks to me, right?"
Soon they're standing so tall he has to look straight up to see them
And they're getting closer
Now it's every F, every friend he can't make, every time he's embarrassed
Puts these massive ghosts just a little closer to him, you know
Leaning down and looking at him
By the end of school he can smell their breath
By the time he can drink, he's surrounded wherever he looks by these massive heads all around him
Stinking and whispering real quiet and looking right at him
One day, he spills his drink on the ground
And suddenly he can understand the whispering
He looks up from the floor and the mouth of a ghost is just about touching him and it says
"Nothing you did made any difference"