Horrible Histories Hieroglyphics Lyrics

Settle down class
Now you've passed
Your grade one pyramid selling
Yeah, the time has come
For me to drum
Some facts into you about spelling

Oh, it seems to me
Your ABC skills
Are less than terrific
So buck up boys
As we master the joys
Of the lovely hieroglyphics!

Everyone needs their ABC
It's as simple as... vulture, foot, basket
You know how to sing doh-ray-me
Easy to write, it's... hand, eye-thingy, owl

ABC
Vulture, foot, basket
Doh-ray-mee
Hand, eye-thingy, owl

You'll pass with ease
And find it's a breeze
The rules are scientific
Don't have to be smart
All you do is start
With simple phonetic glyphics

Next you get two letters, a set
More things called logographic
Finally third, the form of a word
Determinitives... horrific!

Everyone needs their... flamingo, house, sun
It's easy, but some can mean duck, everyone
You all know how to write your name
Except for me - Tutanephututakhamen Flamingo, house, sun
Means duck to some
Tutanephututakhamen
Let's leave that one!

If you find it hard, don't be afraid
To go and ask your mummy for aid
Now it's time for a spelling bee
That's not how you spell bee, see me!
Foot, reed, reed, easy!

Cat, pig, dog, rat, dog, frog
Make your spelling magnific
You can go up and down
Left and right and around
No punctuation in hieroglyphics

A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Just seven hundred characters or so
Now that's done
Let's have some fun
With numbers, here we go!

Everyone needs their 1, 2, 3
It's as simple as... eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye
You can all count to ninety-nine
Easy to write it's... hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop, hoop
Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye

1, 2, 3
Eye, eye, eye, eye, eye eye
Ninety-nine
Hoop hoop hoop hoop, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye, eye
Basket!